Girl Math. Omg girl math. Few phrases can enrage me so quickly as “girl math.” The most prominent women in my life- people who others should be held up as examples of success and brilliance- are fantastic at all math, but not girl math. Why? Because this is just ANOTHER way society is infantilizing women. Women-math took us to the moon, women-math (and science) first drew the proper structure of DNA, women-math pioneered cancer detection, nuclear fission, established etymology, to say nothing of the silent achievements made as “assistants” and yet here in the 21st century, our intelligence is reduced to “girl math”?!

What even IS girl math, you ask? Excellent question, because it’s a stupid non-sensical phrase that has enraged me so much I cannot even make accurate paragraph dictation. It started as when a gal wanted to treat herself, but it wasn’t strictly within the pre-defined budget set by either herself or her partner, so she rationalizes it.

Imagine. Having to rationalize a treat, to society. Because women shouldn’t GET treats just for the hell of it, right? The world’s burning, across countries we’ve lost rights our grandmothers had, most of us are working more hours than any generation before seen while still undergoing a growing rate of domestic violence- but NONE of that is rationale enough for a cute handbag so we have to do “girl math.”

So say a gal needs a bag for work. She could choose a cheap knock-off, or buy the real LV computer bag with the extra adjustable strap and shiny keychain. This will last her longer than the cheap knockoff, kick her with a shot of dopamine every time she picks it up, and give her a confidence boost at work, which leads to opportunities and promotions. So “girl math” says she saved money in the long wrong.

Or just like, regular people-math, because of course things of quality last longer and therefore don’t have to bought as frequently and there is not a price one can put on being respected in the workspace for looking put together and feeling put together and therefore becoming an influence in the business because confidence is half the battle.

But women, right? They’re so needy. Or rather, want-y. Men NEED the briefcase that matches their boss’s. Men NEED the new golf set so they can make customer deals. Men NEED things for progressing in society. Women? Women want. Women have to do girl math. And it’s not even the men who are the majority of those assigning this antiquated association of feminine and unintelligence! It’s US too! We are doing this to ourselves. We are reducing ourselves- making ourselves smaller in a world that demands largeness for survival. This is not the biggest problem for women and feminine presenting people in the world right now, but if we chip away at ourselves while the world is also doing so, we will disappear that much faster.

Girl, buy the damn handbag and leave the “math” out of it.